The Misogynist’s close cousin is The Perpetual Cheater. Back in the day, The Guy Who Peaked Too Early had everything a 17-year-old girl could ever dream of.
His sky-high confidence carried him smoothly through college, and no one was surprised when he landed a smart, sweet, beautiful girlfriend in his early 20s.
The Misogynist doesn’t know a whole lot about the other gender, but he can tell you the exact number of them he’s slept with—214.
He did quite well with girls back in his earlier days when many were in their attracted to assholes phase, but lately, only those with the lowest self-esteem seem to gravitate towards him.
The Total Package is an athlete, a musician, and an avid traveler.
The Total Package is handsome—and you better believe he’s well-groomed.
Yes, the woman fit for The Total Package will be the ultimate icing on his cake of perfection.
He imagines her often—gorgeous as they come, she turns heads; bursting with charm and charisma, she lights up every room she enters; she’s a brilliant rising star in her career and beloved by her many friends.
Now it’s seven years later, his hair got bored and left, and his high school lacrosse glory isn’t part of the conversation that much these days.
And he’s noticing that girls like his ex-girlfriend don’t seem to be all that into him anymore.
He’d also really appreciate it if his mother would stop setting him up on dates.
The Misogynist hates women, and women hate The Misogynist.
And that’s just her public persona—at home, she’s fantastic in bed, a spectacular cook, loving, selfless, and devoted. He’s immersed in a fierce battle between his superhuman standards and his terror of being 40 and single—because 40 and single is not supposed to be part of The Total Package’s story.