It’s like saying they know you as well as you know you, so they don’t ask, they assume, and may even tell Misunderstanding What it Means to Validate: Sometimes people invalidate because they believe if they validate they are agreeing.
A person can state, “You think it’s wrong that you’re angry with your friend,” and not agree with you. But because they want to reassure you they invalidate by saying, “You shouldn’t think that way.” Wanting to Fix Your Feelings: “Come on, don’t be sad. ” People who love you don’t want you to hurt so sometimes they invalidate your thoughts and feelings in their efforts to get you to feel happier.
But well-intentioned people may be uncomfortable with intense emotions or believe that they are helping when they are actually invalidating. The truth is that validation is not self-acceptance, it is only an acknowledgement that an internal experience occurred.
In terms of self-invalidation, many emotionally sensitive people would agree they invalidate themselves, but would argue that they deserve it. Verbal Invalidation There are many different reasons and ways that people who care about you invalidate you. Misinterpreting What It Means to Be Close: Sometimes people think that knowing just how someone else feels without having to ask means they are emotionally close to that person.
You never think and always make everything harder.” Blaming is always invalidating.
(Blaming is different from taking responsibility.) Hoovering: Hoovering is when you attempt to vacuum up any feelings you are uncomfortable with or not give truthful answers because you don’t want to upset or to be vulnerable.
Showing up at an important event but only paying attention to email or playing a game on the phone while there is invalidating, whether that is the message the person meant to send or not.
Nonverbal self-invalidation is working too much, shopping too much or otherwise not paying attention to your own feelings, thoughts, needs and wants. It’s about accepting someone else’s internal experience as valid and understandable.
Various impediments can render a person unable to validly contract a marriage.
Besides impediments, marriage consent can be rendered null due to invalidating factors such as simulation or deceit, or to psychic incapacity.
Judging: “You are so overreacting,” and “That is a ridiculous thought,” are examples of invalidation by judging.